


A Force I'm Still Uncovering

by probsnothawkeye



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Asexual Character, Fluff, I make up rules on how long artists can stay in one place because this is the life i live, M/M, No beta we die like archival assistants, anyway, because ya girl is so bad at doing slow burn, fastest burn in the west, god i love that tag it just makes my little ace heart sing, inspired by a tumblr post, jon is an indie musician and martin works at a theatre he is playing at, musician au, planning is my enemy and i will never learn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:47:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25101127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/probsnothawkeye/pseuds/probsnothawkeye
Summary: 'Elias shook his head, grabbing Jon’s shoulder again. “I’m talking about emotion that sells! Romance, love songs, sex songs, you know? Sex sells, Jon. Love songs, even manufactured ones, make millions. I know how much writing your own songs means to you and I’m sure even you can write a song like this!”“I, um-”Elias let go of Jon’s shoulder, looking down at his watch. “Oh, look at the time! I best be off. You’re welcome in the theatre any time to work on writing or practice or whatever you need. First show in a month! And don’t forget to work on something more lovey or sexy!”'OrJon "The Archivist" Sims is an up and coming musician. The only problem? He cannot write a love song for the life of him. Enter Martin Blackwood, poet and worker at the theatre Jon is performing at.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist
Comments: 13
Kudos: 145





	A Force I'm Still Uncovering

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello!  
> So this fic was inspired by a tumblr post by ajkal2 (https://ajkal2.tumblr.com/post/622525720229560320/ok-so-there-is-a-key-premise-for-tma-fic-that-we)  
> This post was some galaxy brain shit and I just had to write it  
> Also this is my first fic in this fandom because this podcast took over my life in just 9 days it was wild  
> Anyway I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Title taken from Slowly by The Altogether (featuring Karen Han) because I'm The Altogether trash (the force he's still uncovering is love okay byeee)

“And this,” Elias said, guiding Jon into the theatre. “Is where we’ve booked your residency for the next year,” Jon looked around the empty space, staring first at the stage then turning his eyes up to the balcony of seats. “Though why you want to do a residency  _ now _ when you’ve just started climbing the charts-“

“The UK charts,” Jon said firmly, rolling his eyes. “And only some smaller radio stations, really. This is much cheaper than going on a tour and I need to be here to take care of my grandmother. It’s the least I can do, she took care of me.” 

“I’m just saying, Jon,” Elias said, hand gripped firmly around Jon’s shoulder. “You want to be a star, right? How do you expect to do that when you’re only playing in London?”

Jon shrugged off his manager’s grip. “Shows three nights a week plus ample time to work on that album you’ve been telling me to write seems like a good way to stardom.” 

If Jon were being honest, stardom wasn’t all that important to him. He had a good indie following for his music (benefit of being a part of The Mechanisms in uni even if he left when he found his personal sound), and just wanted to be able to play for people. This residency allowed him to do just that. Within the first week of announcing shows in this new theatre, half of them had sold out. Part of that was due to the smaller size of the theatre and part of that was due to the following Jon had amassed for himself.

“Speaking of that album,” Elias said, grin spreading across his face. “I have some notes on the songs you’ve suggested for it.”

“I’m listening.”

“You need to get some… emotion in there.”

Jon looked at Elias quizzically. “All I do is write about emotion, Elias. My first EP that you produced was literally called  _ Anxious Mess _ .”

Elias shook his head, grabbing Jon’s shoulder again. “I’m talking about emotion that  _ sells! _ Romance, love songs, sex songs, you know? Sex sells, Jon. Love songs, even manufactured ones, make millions. I know how much writing your own songs means to you and I’m sure even you can write a song like this!”

“I, um-”

Elias let go of Jon’s shoulder, looking down at his watch. “Oh, look at the time! I best be off. You’re welcome in the theatre any time to work on writing or practice or whatever you need. First show in a month! And don’t forget to work on something more lovey or sexy!” With that, Elias walked out the door, leaving Jon alone in the space.

***

Martin Blackwood had been working at Beholding Theatre since he dropped out of school to take care of his mother. His jobs ranged from ushering at plays put on there to helping set up for concerts to literally being a stage manager on one memorable occasion. He originally took the job because it was close to home and might allow him to catch a show on occasion, but he stayed on after his mother passed because, well, he enjoyed it. It was stable and he knew what to expect from it.

Well, he usually did. 

When he found out some indie artist called The Archivist was going to be doing a residency for the next year, Martin expected it to be a run of the mill concert series. Setting up a stage, organizing lighting, maybe some kind of light pyro or smoke machine. Nothing too crazy.

Then he met The Archivist, aka Jonathan Sims. 

“Are you… Martin?” A man asked at the start of Martin’s shift one day.

“Yes. And you must be The Archivist,” Martin said holding out his hand. It went ignored.

“Ah, um, Jon. Well, yes, I’m The Archivist, but when I’m not on stage I just go by Jon.”

“Jon, then,” Martin said, still smiling but slightly miffed at his handshake being ignored. “Welcome to Beholding Theatre.”

Martin had gone over the contract for The Archivist the night before, noting some odd requests but striving to fulfill them accordingly. Most artists had an odd request or two in the contracts, so he tried not to think too much about them. Still, seeing the man who requested an eye be painted over the door leading onto the stage was shocking to Martin, as Jon looked completely normal. Definitely not the diva type that his contract would suggest.

“I can’t believe he’s such a diva!” Martin groaned as he told Sasha and Tim about the newest talent at Beholding. It had been just over a week since Martin had met Jonathan Sim,  _ The Archivist _ , and Sasha and Tim were finally returning from their vacation together. “I mean, sure, odd requests are normal. We get them all the time. But the eye? Wait, no, the  _ eyes, _ plural? I miss two eyes from his request list and he goes mental, I mean, seriously!”

Sasha rubbed soothing circles on Martin’s back as Tim bit back laughter at seeing his friend so distraught. “I’m sure he’ll get less bitchy,” Sasha said calmly. “A lot of them start out like this, but we’ve never had any real problems before.”

“Nah, I bet new boss is gonna be a nightmare for the next six months,” Tim said, tossing some candy in his mouth. “I mean, seriously. The Archivist? This guy already sounds like a pretentious dick. Bet his music isn’t even that good.”

“Half his run is already sold out,” Martin said, head buried in his arms on the table. “No way he isn’t at least a little talented.”  _ It also helps that he’s hot _ Martin thinks to himself but doesn’t say. He knew how Sasha and Tim would get if they found out he had a crush on their client, especially one who had been mean to him. 

Sasha just rubbed another circle onto Martin’s back, trying to make her friend feel better. “Why don’t you take a break from him for now? I’ll head back out and help him out, you go do some backstage stuff or just take a full break, honestly. Tim can come help me out.”

“Tim can what?” Tim asked, looking at Sasha incredulously. “I don’t want to be anywhere near that man right now are you-” Sasha shot a glare at Tim. “Fine, fine. We’ll handle him, you take a break.”

Tim smiled at his friends as they walked away, leaving him in their back office. If he was really getting a break, it would be the perfect time to do some poetry recording.

***

Jon sat alone on the stage after rehearsal, notebook and guitar in hand, trying to get some writing done. 

Rehearsal itself had gone well, all of his old songs flowing naturally and the band really coming together well behind him. Beholding Theatre was beautiful, and the acoustics in the place were fantastic. Jon was sure the first concert in a few weeks was going to be great.

Working on the album, however, was going nowhere fast.

Elias kept mentioning sexy, desirable songs, as if that would make them easier for Jon to write. It wasn’t as it Elias knew about Jon’s asexuality or his romantic failings in life, but still. Trying to force him to write something just because Elias thought it would sell better was ridiculous. 

Groaning, Jon threw his notebook down, setting his guitar down much more gently. Sitting on the stage wasn’t helping him write, but maybe walking around the theatre would inspire something in him. Nodding to himself, Jon picked up his notebook and started to wander the theatre, hoping some form of inspiration would strike.

It was near the back office that Jon first heard the voice.

It was soft, speaking something Jon couldn't fully make out. It was only as he got closer to the door and the words started to take a particular cadence that Jon realized what he was hearing.

_ Poetry. _ Jon thought with a sneer. For someone who has spent years composing lyrics and arranging songs, Jon still didn’t have much love in his heart for straight poetry. Without the music behind it, poems rang hollow to Jon. But listening closer, Jon realized that he was hearing a  _ love _ poem.

Not thinking clearly (or at all, if he were being honest), Jon opened the door to the back office to find Martin, who screamed upon seeing Jon. “Martin- Stop screaming, it’s just me. Martin, are you writing a love poem?”

Jon watched as Martin’s mouth snapped shut, his eyes wide as he nodded. “Yeah I um… I write poetry sometimes. And yes, that was a love poem.”

“How do you do that?” Jon asked, stepping into the office and closing the door behind him.

“Pardon?”

“Love poems. How do you do that?” Martin was still staring blankly at Jon. “Elias, my manager, wants me to write more love songs. Said something about how well they sell, talked about desire a lot, it was… Anyway, how do you write love poems?”

“Well… If I’m being honest, Jon, I just write what I’m feeling,” Martin said, holding up a notebook. “I’m not always in charge of the words that manifest in my head, you know?”

“I… Yes. Actually, I do,” Jon said after a moment. “That’s not dissimilar to how I usually write songs.”

Martin gestured to the seat across from him, and Jon sat down. “May I see what you’ve been working on?” Martin asked timidly. “Perhaps I can help.”

Jon nodded, holding his notebook out for Martin to take. A slightly tense silence filled the room as Martin started reading through some of Jon’s latest attempts at writing a love song. “I will warn you, it’s not very good. Everything I’ve attempted to write just feels… Manufactured.”

Martin nodded idly, still flipping through the notebook. “I think I see your problem,” he said after a moment. "What are you writing for?"

"I'm writing so my manager will fuck off," Jon said bluntly, causing Martin to burst out laughing.

"That's the problem! You have to write for something or someone when it comes to love songs, otherwise they feel hollow. You said it felt manufactured, yeah?" Jon nodded. "That's because it literally is. You are literally trying to manufacture love. Even if you're writing about a past love or a more platonic love or whatever, you have to write for  _ something _ ."

Jon thought about this for a moment, looking at Martin with the same blank expression Martin had on his face earlier. "I- hm. I suppose that does make sense."

"I'd be happy to help you workshop some ideas if you'd like," Martin said, flashing Jon a bright smile. "What you have here isn't bad, but I think I could help you improve upon it."

"I would appreciate that a lot, thank you, Martin."

***

Working in the theatre got much easier once Martin started helping Jon with song writing. It was as if something between them had shifted, with Jon being much nicer and Martin understanding him better.

This, of course, did nothing to help Martin's growing crush on the other man, but it at least made his job easier. Especially when Jon explained why he had been so hard on him with the contract.

"Performing can be dangerous, you know?" Jon said one night the two had stayed late to workshop song lyrics together. "If things aren't just right, people can get hurt. I didn't know this when I was first starting out, but I learned quickly."

Martin looked at Jon curiously, almost stopping himself before asking "Would you… Would you mind telling me what happened?"

Jon sighed, but nodded slowly. "I… it wasn't long after I had signed with Elias. One of the first big shows I played. That was before I had any tells in my contract, so I had no way of knowing whether or not everything was taken seriously. And it turned out they hadn't. Elias had hired someone from the venue for the pyro, a lady named Jude Perry I think, and well…" Jon rubbed his hand absent-mindedly and for the first time, Martin noticed the scarring all over it. "She hadn't paid any mind to the safety regulations or the movement paths we had planned for the concert and… I mean, you can see the burns.

"I almost lost my whole career after the burns. Had to relearn the guitar after months of physical therapy, didn't think Elias would hold out waiting for me. But he did and I made it back into the world of music. That's when I started adding tells into my contract. If I notice that the eyes aren't painted somewhere, I know they didn't read the contract properly."

Martin thought back to his first meeting with Jon, how miffed he was that Jon wouldn't shake his hand. Looking at the scars now, he couldn't help but feel guilty for his past anger. Of course Jon wouldn't want to shake his hand, he probably gets questions about the scarring all the time. 

"I'm sorry, Jon," Martin said softly, fighting the urge to grab his hand. "When you first started here in the theatre, I didn't mean to make you concerned with the contract I just misread and-"

"Martin," Jon said firmly, grabbing Martin’s hand and stopping his heart in the process. "It's okay. I was… concerned during the first week but you've proven yourself quite competent about safety since then. And the first concerts went spectacularly, no safety concerns at all. I do apologize for being so hard on you."

"I completely understand why," Martin said, looking at Jon's hand on top of his. "But thank you for the apology."

Jon smiled and retracted his hand from Martin’s, ending the moment the two had been sharing. But something was lingering there, Martin could feel it. He couldn't help but wonder if Jon could feel it too.

"Shall we get back to work, then?" Jon asked. "I think I've finally made a breakthrough with the love song writing process."

Martin laughed, leaning over to look at Jon's notebook. "Show me what you've got, Mr. Archivist."

***

Jon found that he liked the song writing process when Martin was involved. After so long of writing songs on his own, Jon didn't expect to enjoy working with another person. And yet, it was something he found himself looking forward to.

Even as he started playing shows at Beholding Theatre, interacting with crowds and sharing his stories through music, Jon found that the best parts of his week were the time he spent working on lyrics with Martin. Sometimes they didn't even write, they just discussed love and emotion, trying to find a way to channel it.

It was one night three month into Jon’s residency at Beholding and two month and a half into his writing with Martin that it happened.

A busy day of rehearsals had kept the two there later than intended. They had stopped writing for the day, moving to the couch in the room Jon had commandeered for a personal space during his residency. 

"You've gotten much better at this," Martin said, closing Jon’s notebook full of lyrics and passing it back to him. The song Martin was looking over was one Jon had written based on Daisy and Basira. It straddled the line between romantic dribble and the realism of the human experience Jon strived for in his songs. Over all he was proud of it.

"Yes, well, I've had a good teacher," Jon said softly. "I still feel like it's missing something. I mean, I'm not sure I'm tapping into love properly. What is love?"

"Baby don't hurt me," Martin said, causing the two to burst out laughing. "No, but seriously Jon, you're always writing about the love of other people in your life. Have you never been in love before?"

Jon pondered this for a few seconds. "Once, I think. My girlfriend while I was in uni. I think I loved her."

"Tell me about her?" Martin asked, scooting closer to Jon, leaning into his space. They had gotten much closer, much more tactile with each other over the past month. It was something nice, though wholly unfamiliar to Jon.

"I met Georgie first year at uni. She was studying media and journalism and I had an elective in one of her modules, though I can't even remember what it was at this point. She was firey and bright, lighting up every room and lecture hall she entered. If it weren't for a group assignment in our tutorial, I doubt I would've had the nerve to talk to her."

Martin laughed at that. "You? Lacking the nerve?"

"It's true!" Jon said with a soft smile. "I was much more timid back then. It was before I started performing. She actually knew me in my early days with The Mechs, god the stories she could tell you about me. I was such a mess then. Still am, I suppose. But anyway, I think I loved her. She made me feel bright and warm and like I could be a better person. She made me want to try."

"What happened with you two?"

"We had different needs," Jon said, fighting back a bit of bitterness and an even larger wave of sadness. Thinking of Georgie always brought back bouts of internalized acephobia. "She wanted to progress our relationship physically and I just… couldn't. We weren't compatible in that way and it took me a long time to learn and accept that that was okay. It was something I had wanted to change about myself for her, but she wouldn't let me. Said I shouldn't have to change who I am just for her."

"She's right, you know," Martin said, placing a hand on top of Jon’s. "Your- asexuality?" Jon nodded. "Your asexuality isn't something that needs to be changed. It's just a part of who you are and you'll find someone who can accept that." 

Jon found himself fighting back tears as he turned his hand over to lace their fingers together. "Thank you, Martin."

***

Things had been different between them since that night, Martin was sure of it. There was a palpable air of  _ something _ dancing between them, though Martin couldn't say for certain what it was. But it had bonded them in a way they hadn't been bonded before.

And it did nothing to aid in stopping his ever growing crush on Jon.

"I still don't understand it," Tim said to Martin one day as he was lamenting during their lunch break. "I mean, you're great, Martin! Of all the people you fall for, it's Jonathan Sims?"

"Jon's not that bad!" Martin protested. "You just haven't gotten to know him is all."

"Martin, he's been at the theatre for eight months now. I have a pretty good idea of what he's like."

Martin just sighed to himself, knowing it was fruitless to try and argue with Tim on Jon's merits as a person. Jon really had been getting better since Martin started writing with him, even if Tim couldn't see that.

"Are you staying for his show tonight?" Tim asked as he got up to prepare to get back to work. "Bet it'll be a good one, he's supposed to play some of the songs you two have been working on."

"Oh," Martin said softly. "He hadn't mentioned that he was going to… Yes, I guess I will stay."

"Me and Sasha are gonna stick around the front of the stage if you wanna watch with us."

Martin nodded absently, giving Tim a thumbs up before making his way back out into the theatre. Obviously Martin knew that the songs he and Jon had been working on would be performed eventually, but knowing that tonight was the night and that Jon hadn't mentioned it at all stung a little bit. Did he not want Martin there?

"I'm just being silly," Martin muttered to himself. "And it's not like it matters if Jon wants me there. We're just friends, colleagues. He didn't have to tell me anything."

Martin kept repeating this thought in his head until the concert that evening, absent-mindedly doing his work beforehand. Thankfully he wasn't in charge of any of the safety related requirements this evening, otherwise things might have gone wrong. By the time he made his way to the front of the crowd with Tim and Sasha, Martin had mostly forgotten about the songs to be performed that evening.

Mostly.

It was halfway through Jon’s set that the songs came up. Hearing Jon sing the words the two of them had been writing together over the course of seven months was such a unique and indescribable experience for Martin.

What made it more intense was the fact that Jon had found Martin in the crowd and kept his eyes locked on Martin as he sang.

The crowd around him went crazy for the songs,  _ their  _ songs, but to Martin it seemed like no one else existed. There was only Martin and Jon in that moment.

Tim slung an arm over Martin’s shoulder after the concert, "I've gotta say, Martin, maybe your little crush isn't so foolish after all."

"Pardon?" Martin sputtered, face lighting up a bright red. 

"That entire love song he just had eyes for you," Sasha said, poking Martin in the side good naturedly. "Seriously, I don't think he broke eye contact with you for a single moment."

"I, I… He was probably just doing it because I helped him write the song," Martin said, face still red. "He wouldn't have gotten to those lyrics without me, after all."

Tim and Sasha shared a look before shrugging. "Whatever you say, Martin. Whatever you say."

***

Jon couldn't pinpoint the moment he fell in love with Martin, but he felt the full force of his love that night at the concert.

Finding Martin in the crowd, watching him, Jon was finally able to sing about love and not find it feeling hollow and meaningless. With his eyes locked on Martin’s, he knew that the love he was singing about was really there in his heart.

Even if Martin would never feel the same way.

"You're being ridiculous, Jon," Georgie said when he met up with her the following week. "Why wouldn't Martin feel the same?"

Jon gave Georgie a look. "You of all people should know why someone wouldn't feel anything… romantic towards me."

Georgie laughed a little, taking a sip of her coffee. "Oh Jon. You're still so melodramatic!" Jon laughed, a small smile creeping onto his face. "Besides, Jon, from what you’ve told me, I'm pretty sure he's been in love with you this whole time. I mean, who offers to help someone write love songs and learn all their intimate secrets  _ without _ falling in love with the person?"

"Many people take part in collaborative songwriting," Jon said pointedly. "Not all of them fall in love with each other."

Georgie shoved Jon playfully. "You know what I mean. You guys spend half of your time writing together on a couch with half a meter of space between you, you don't think that's intimate and romance inducing?"

"I don't know…" Jon trailed off before catching sight of the clock on the cafe wall. "Oh, is it that late already? I better be heading back for the second half of rehearsal."

Georgie gave Jon a quick hug before he left. "I'll be at the show next week, don’t forget! And please, Jon, just try to be optimistic about Martin. I think there's something there!"

Jon smiled, addressing Georgie over his shoulder as he left the cafe, "You always think there's something!"

Seeing Georgie always put Jon in a good mood and this carried through rehearsal. Even if their romantic relationship had fizzled out long ago, she was still a close friend that Jon could rely on.

Speaking of Martin, the other man was notably absent during both sets of rehearsal. Jon usually saw him wandering about the theatre doing checks or between other tasks, but he had yet to see Martin. As he was packing his things up for the day, Jon finally decided to ask Tim.

"He called in sick today," Tim said as a knowing grin started to spread across his face. "Why? Did we do something wrong or did you just miss him?"

"I um… we were supposed to do some writing today is all."

The knowing look on Tim's face stayed as he patted Jon on the shoulder. "Sure, boss. Whatever you say," Tim turned to leave before stopping for a moment. "He only lives about two blocks from here if you wanted to go check on him."

"I… what?"

Tim just laughed, scribbling an address down on a piece of paper on the desk. "Here. Go get 'im, boss. And know that if you hurt him, me and Sasha will make sure you're never found."

Jon stood there for a moment, dumbfounded, before shaking his head and heading out the door towards Martin’s apartment.

***

Martin’s head had been killing him all day, causing him to call off sick even though it was supposed to be a writing day for him and Jon. He expected maybe a text from Jon asking if he was okay or running a new lyric idea past him.

What he didn't expect was to see Jon at his door after work hours that day.

"Hi, um, Tim said you were sick so I thought… I thought I'd come check on you," Jon said, shuffling awkwardly from foot to foot in the doorway, a plastic bag in hand.

"Oh," Martin said softly. "Well, why don't you come inside then," The two made their way quietly into Martin’s flat. "I apologize for the state of the place, I wasn't expecting anyone."

Jon rubbed his neck sheepishly. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have… I just wanted to make sure you're alright is all."

Martin smiled softly at Jon. "It's alright, Jon. I appreciate it, thank you."

As if remembering it suddenly, Jon placed the bag he had with him on the table in front of them. "I got some soup for you from the cafe by the theatre. And a box of tea."

"Oh, thank you," Martin said, taking the soup and tea from Jon before setting them down on the counter and moving to sit on the couch. "Why don't you sit with me for a little bit, Jon? You came all this way."

"I don't want to impose-"

"I'm asking you to, Jon," Martin said, patting the space next to him. "Please. I've had a splitting headache all day that has finally gone now that you've appeared. Maybe sitting with you will help it go away completely."

Jon laughed at this but gave in to Martin’s request, sitting down on the couch next to him. Martin scooted closer to Jon. "Do you mind if I lean on you for a little bit?"

Jon smiled. "Not at all."

Martin leaned his head on Jon's shoulder, reveling in the closeness. At some point, Martin found himself drifting off a bit, head finally free from the ache that had kept him awake for so long.

It was a soft rumbling that eventually brought him back into the waking world.

Martin could feel a gentle vibration from his spot laying against Jon. After a moment, he realized it was coming from Jon singing their song softly to him as he slept. Martin knew he should let Jon know he was awake so that Jon could stop singing and get home. But the gentle feel of Jon singing softly and the warmth and closeness of how he was laying convinced Martin to pretend to sleep, just a moment longer.

***

Another month had passed since Martin’s sick day and Jon’s visit to his flat when Jon realized he didn't need Martin's help to write a love song anymore.

Just thinking about Martin was enough to spark inspiration in Jon and he found himself writing song after song with Martin wrapped at the center of them.

Elias was over the moon about it.

"These are perfect, Jon, I knew you had it in you!" Elias said with a grin, clapping Jon on the shoulder. "We'll have to get you into the studio to record soon!"

The prospect of recording his album brought everything in his mind to a halt. The residency was almost over, that would mean he had to leave the theatre. He would have to leave Martin. 

Their work together had been the best part of the residency for Jon. But even that wasn't necessary anymore as he had the songs Elias wanted and could do them on his own now. But he didn't want to write them on his own. He wanted to write them with Martin. He just wanted to be with Martin.

Which meant telling Martin.

Looking down over the songs he had written in the past week, Jon resolved himself to telling Martin how he felt. Even if Martin didn't feel the same way, at least Jon would know. At least he would have the chance to know before leaving the theatre.

It was after rehearsal and the two were meant to be writing together in the empty theatre. As Martin moved to take out his notebook, Jon stopped him.

"I would like to play you something, if you'd be amiable to the idea."

Martin smiled at him. "Of course, Jon."

***

Two things struck Martin as Jon started to sing. The first was the fact that it was another love song.

The second was the fact that Martin recognized none of it.

_ If he's writing his own love songs, that means he doesn't need me anymore.  _ Martin thought to himself, trying to keep a neutral look on his face as dread began to rise in him.  _ This must be a goodbye, a thanks for the help but I don't need you anymore. And his residency does end soon, this must be a "thanks for everything Martin I'll never see you again". _

Martin forced himself out of his thoughts, focusing instead on the lyrics Jon was singing. The song was beautiful, emotion dripping off of every word he sang. Unbeknownst to him, Martin started to cry.

As Jon played the final chords, he finally looked up at Martin, seeing the tears in his eyes. "Oh, god, Martin, are you okay?" Martin nodded, trying his best to fight back the tears. "Did you… did you not like the song."

"It was beautiful, Jon," Martin sniffled out. "You learned really well."

Jon was still looking at Martin, confusion etched on his face. "If you liked it then… why are you crying?"

Martin took a breath, trying to steel himself. "Because you don't need me anymore."

The confusion remained on Jon's face, with a hint of nervousness climbing in his eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"You don't need me to help with songs anymore!" Martin cried, his loudness shocking himself. "Your residency is almost over and you're going to leave and I'll never see you again because you don't need me anymore! The only thing I was good for was teaching you how to write love songs but look at you! You've written a brilliant one on your own, what do you need me for now? Nothing! Absolutely nothing!"

Shock colored Jon’s face as Martin finished his rant. Embarrassment shot through Martin’s body and he moved to leave, but Jon grabbed his arm. "Of course I need you, Martin. That song wouldn't exist without you. And not because of your teachings but because you're  _ you _ . I wrote the song for  _ you,  _ Martin. You told me that love songs had to be written  _ for  _ something and for the first time I found that I had something personal to write for. I wasn't writing my friend's stories or trying to conjure love from nothing. I finally had something, that something is  _ you _ . You've been locked in my head since the first show I played our song at. This was… well this was the only way I could think to tell you. I love you, Martin."

"You… what?" Martin asked, looking from Jon's hand in his to Jon’s face.

"I love you," Jon said simply. "I've been falling in love with you for months now, just waiting for a way to show you." Martin shook his head, eyes wide with shock as Jon withdrew his hand from Martin’s wrist "I understand if you don't feel the same way, it's just my residency is only for a few more months and well… I didn't want to make it to the end without telling you."

Hearing Jon's comment on how Martin doesn't feel the same way finally got him out of his stupor. "I do. Feel the same way, that is."

"Pardon?"

"I love you, too, Jon," Martin said, reaching out and taking Jon’s hand in his. "God, did you really not know? Even after that whole rant about you leaving?"

"I didn't want to assume-"

"Come here," Martin said, opening his arms and pulling Jon into a tight hug. "Of course I love you. How could I not?"

Jon pulled back a little bit to look Martin in the eyes. "I would like to kiss you now, if you're amiable."

Martin didn't even answer, he just leaned in and kissed Jon.

***

Jon was in the studio with Elias, listening to a few demos of songs for the album and looking over the credits list. "I need you to add a credit to the writing section."

Elias raised an eyebrow at this. "Oh?"

"Yes. Martin Blackwood helped with lyrics on half of the songs."

Elias wrote the name down, eyebrow stilled raised. "I didn't realize you had taken a creative partner. It's so unlike you, Jon."

"You said you wanted love songs, I needed help with the writing and inspiration for them. Now if you'll excuse me," Jon said before turning to leave. He had just made it out the door when he heard Elias shout "Wait, the inspiration?!"

Jon made his way out of the building to see Martin waiting there for him. He walked up to his boyfriend and gave him a quick kiss. "You didn't have to wait for me, love."

"Eh, I wanted to get out of the theatre for a little bit anyway," Martin said, lacing their fingers together. "You ready to do some writing?"

"I'm ready for anything when I have you."

"Sap."

Jon stole another quick kiss before walking on with Martin in tow. "Of course I'm a sap. I'm a songwriter in love, after all."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated but never required. Come check me out on [tumblr!](https://ireallyneedabetterusername.tumblr.com/) My blog is and always will be a multi fandom mess but it is fun there sometimes. Plus I'm always open to prompts so if you enjoyed this and want to read more let me know!


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